The History of Samuel Titmarsh, and The Great Hoggarty Diamond"Your loving AUNT.
"I have ordered a chest of the Rosolio to be sent from Somersetshire.
When it comes, please to send half down here (paying the carriage, of course). 'Twill be an acceptable present to my kind entertainer, Mr.
B."
This letter was brought to me by Mr. Brough himself at the office, who apologised to me for having broken the seal by inadvertence; for the letter had been mingled with some more of his own, and he opened it without looking at the superscription. Of course he had not read it, and I was glad of that; for I should not have liked him to see my aunt's opinion of his daughter and lady.
The next day, a gentleman at "Tom's Coffee-house," Cornhill, sent me word at the office that he wanted particularly to speak to me: and I stopped thither, and found my old friend Smithers, of the house of Hodge and Smithers, just off the coach, with his carpet-bag between his legs.
"Sam my boy," said he, "you are your aunt's heir, and I have a piece of news for you regarding her property which you ought to know. She wrote us down a letter for a chest of that home-made wine of hers which she calls Rosolio, and which lies in our warehouse along with her furniture."
"Well," says I, smiling, "she may part with as much Rosolio as she likes for me. I cede all my right."
"Psha!" says Smithers, "it's not that; though her furniture puts us to a deuced inconvenience, to be sure--it's not that: but, in the postscript of her letter, she orders us to advertise the Slopperton and Squashtail estates for immediate sale, as she purposes placing her capital elsewhere."
I know that the Slopperton and Squashtail property had been the source of a very pretty income to Messrs. Hodge and Smithers, for Aunt was always at law with her tenants, and paid dearly for her litigious spirit; so that Mr. Smithers's concern regarding the sale of it did not seem to me to be quite disinterested.
"And did you come to London, Mr. Smithers, expressly to acquaint me with this fact? It seems to me you had much better have obeyed my aunt's instructions at once, or go to her at Fulham, and consult with her on this subject."
"'Sdeath, Mr. t.i.tmarsh! don't you see that if she makes a sale of her property, she will hand over the money to Brough; and if Brough gets the money he--"
"Will give her seven per cent. for it instead of three,--there's no harm in that."
"But there's such a thing as security, look you. He is a warm man, certainly--very warm--quite respectable--most undoubtedly respectable.
But who knows? A panic may take place; and then these five hundred companies in which he is engaged may bring him to ruin. There's the Ginger Beer Company, of which Brough is a director: awkward reports are abroad concerning it. The Consolidated Baffin's Bay m.u.f.f and Tippet Company--the shares are down very low, and Brough is a director there.
The Patent Pump Company--shares at 65, and a fresh call, which n.o.body will pay."
"Nonsense, Mr. Smithers! Has not Mr. Brough five hundred thousand pounds' worth of shares in the INDEPENDENT WEST DIDDLEs.e.x, and is THAT at a discount? Who recommended my aunt to invest her money in that speculation, I should like to know?" I had him there.
"Well, well, it is a very good speculation, certainly, and has brought you three hundred a year, Sam my boy; and you may thank us for the interest we took in you (indeed, we loved you as a son, and Miss Hodge has not recovered a certain marriage yet). You don't intend to rebuke us for making your fortune, do you?"
"No, hang it, no!" says I, and shook hands with him, and accepted a gla.s.s of sherry and biscuits, which he ordered forthwith.
Smithers returned, however, to the charge. "Sam," he said, "mark my words, and take your aunt _away from the Rookery_. She wrote to Mrs. S.
a long account of a reverend gent with whom she walks out there,--the Reverend Grimes Wapshot. That man has an eye upon her. He was tried at Lancaster in the year '14 for forgery, and narrowly escaped with his neck. Have a care of him--he has an eye to her money."
"Nay," said I, taking out Mrs. Hoggarty's letter: "read for yourself."
He read it over very carefully, seemed to be amused by it; and as he returned it to me, "Well, Sam," he said, "I have only two favours to ask of you: one is, not to mention that I am in town to any living soul; and the other is to give me a dinner in Lamb's Conduit Street with your pretty wife."
"I promise you both gladly," I said, laughing. "But if you dine with us, your arrival in town must be known, for my friend Gus Hoskins dines with us likewise; and has done so nearly every day since my aunt went."
He laughed too, and said, "We must swear Gus to secrecy over a bottle."
And so we parted till dinner-time.
The indefatigable lawyer pursued his attack after dinner, and was supported by Gus and by my wife too; who certainly was disinterested in the matter--more than disinterested, for she would have given a great deal to be spared my aunt's company. But she said she saw the force of Mr. Smithers's arguments, and I admitted their justice with a sigh.
However, I rode my high horse, and vowed that my aunt should do what she liked with her money; and that I was not the man who would influence her in any way in the disposal of it.
After tea, the two gents walked away together, and Gus told me that Smithers had asked him a thousand questions about the office, about Brough, about me and my wife, and everything concerning us. "You are a lucky fellow, Mr. Hoskins, and seem to be the friend of this charming young couple," said Smithers; and Gus confessed he was, and said he had dined with us fifteen times in six weeks, and that a better and more hospitable fellow than I did not exist. This I state not to trumpet my own praises,--no, no; but because these questions of Smithers's had a good deal to do with the subsequent events narrated in this little history.
Being seated at dinner the next day off the cold leg of mutton that Smithers had admired so the day before, and Gus as usual having his legs under our mahogany, a hackney-coach drove up to the door, which we did not much heed; a step was heard on the floor, which we hoped might be for the two-pair lodger, when who should burst into the room but Mrs.
Hoggarty herself! Gus, who was blowing the froth off a pot of porter preparatory to a delicious drink of the beverage, and had been making us die of laughing with his stories and jokes, laid down the pewter pot as Mrs. H. came in, and looked quite sick and pale. Indeed we all felt a little uneasy.
My aunt looked haughtily in Mary's face, then fiercely at Gus, and saying, "It is too true--my poor boy--_already_!" flung herself hysterically into my arms, and swore, almost choking, that she would never never leave me.
I could not understand the meaning of this extraordinary agitation on Mrs. Hoggarty's part, nor could any of us. She refused Mary's hand when the poor thing rather nervously offered it; and when Gus timidly said, "I think, Sam, I'm rather in the way here, and perhaps--had better go," Mrs.
H. looked him full in the face, pointed to the door majestically with her forefinger, and said, "I think, sir, you _had_ better go."
"I hope Mr. Hoskins will stay as long as he pleases," said my wife, with spirit.
"_Of course_ you hope so, madam," answered Mrs. Hoggarty, very sarcastic.
But Mary's speech and my aunt's were quite lost upon Gus; for he had instantly run to his hat, and I heard him tumbling downstairs.
The quarrel ended, as usual, by Mary's bursting into a fit of tears, and by my aunt's repeating the a.s.sertion that it was not too late, she trusted; and from that day forth she would never never leave me.
"What could have made Aunt return and be so angry?" said I to Mary that night, as we were in our own room; but my wife protested she did not know: and it was only some time after that I found out the reason of this quarrel, and of Mrs. H.'s sudden reappearance.
The horrible fat coa.r.s.e little Smithers told me the matter as a very good joke, only the other year, when he showed me the letter of Hickson, Dixon, Paxton and Jackson, which has before been quoted in my Memoirs.
"Sam my boy," said he, "you were determined to leave Mrs. Hoggarty in Brough's clutches at the Rookery, and I was determined to have her away.
I resolved to kill two of your mortal enemies with one stone as it were.
It was quite clear to me that the Reverend Grimes Wapshot had an eye to your aunt's fortune; and that Mr. Brough had similar predatory intentions regarding her. Predatory is a mild word, Sam: if I had said robbery at once, I should express my meaning clearer.
"Well, I took the Fulham stage, and arriving, made straight for the lodgings of the reverend gentleman. 'Sir,' said I, on finding that worthy gent,--he was drinking warm brandy-and-water, Sam, at two o'clock in the day, or at least the room smelt very strongly of that beverage--'Sir,' says I, 'you were tried for forgery in the year '14, at Lancaster a.s.sizes.'
"'And acquitted, sir. My innocence was by Providence made clear,' said Wapshot.
"'But you were not acquitted of embezzlement in '16, sir,' says I, 'and pa.s.sed two years in York Gaol in consequence.' I knew the fellow's history, for I had a writ out against him when he was a preacher at Clifton. I followed up my blow. 'Mr. Wapshot,' said I, 'you are making love to an excellent lady now at the house of Mr. Brough: if you do not promise to give up all pursuit of her, I will expose you.'
"'I _have_ promised,' said Wapshot, rather surprised, and looking more easy. 'I have given my solemn promise to Mr. Brough, who was with me this very morning, storming, and scolding, and swearing. Oh, sir, it would have frightened you to hear a Christian babe like him swear as he did.'
"'Mr. Brough been here?' says I, rather astonished.
"'Yes; I suppose you are both here on the same scent,' says Wapshot. 'You want to marry the widow with the Slopperton and Squashtail estate, do you? Well, well, have your way. I've promised not to have anything more to do with the widow and a Wapshot's honour is sacred.'
"'I suppose, sir,' says I, 'Mr. Brough has threatened to kick you out of doors, if you call again.'
"'You _have_ been with him, I see,' says the reverend gent, with a shrug: then I remembered what you had told me of the broken seal of your letter, and have not the slightest doubt that Brough opened and read every word of it.
"Well, the first bird was bagged: both I and Brough had had a shot at him. Now I had to fire at the whole Rookery; and off I went, primed and loaded, sir,--primed and loaded.
"It was past eight when I arrived, and I saw, after I pa.s.sed the lodge- gates, a figure that I knew, walking in the shrubbery--that of your respected aunt, sir: but I wished to meet the amiable ladies of the house before I saw her; because look, friend t.i.tmarsh, I saw by Mrs. Hoggarty's letter, that she and they were at daggers drawn, and hoped to get her out of the house at once by means of a quarrel with them."
I laughed, and owned that Mr. Smithers was a very cunning fellow.
"As luck would have it," continued he, "Miss Brough was in the drawing- room tw.a.n.gling on a guitar, and singing most atrociously out of tune; but as I entered at the door, I cried 'Hush!' to the footman, as loud as possible, stood stock-still, and then walked forward on tip-toe lightly.
Miss B. could see in the gla.s.s every movement that I made; she pretended not to see, however, and finished the song with a regular roulade.
"'Gracious Heaven!' said I, 'do, madam, pardon me for interrupting that delicious harmony,--for coming unaware upon it, for daring uninvited to listen to it.'