The History of Samuel Titmarsh, and The Great Hoggarty Diamond"In for three hundred thousand pound," says Aminadab: "Brough's right- hand man, and only three-and-twenty."
"Mr. t.i.tmarsh, sir, your 'ealth, sir," says Mr. Lock, in an ecstasy of admiration. "Your very good 'earth, sir, and better luck to you next time."
"Pooh, pooh! _he's_ all right," says Aminadab; "let _him_ alone."
"In for _what_?" shouted I, quite amazed. "Why, sir, you arrested me for 90_l_."
"Yes, but you are in for half a million,--you know you are. _Them_ debts I don't count--them paltry tradesmen's accounts. I mean Brough's business. It's an ugly one; but you'll get through it. We all know you; and I lay my life that when you come through the court, Mrs. t.i.tmarsh has got a handsome thing laid by."
"Mrs. t.i.tmarsh has a small property," says I. "What then?"
The three gentlemen burst into a loud laugh, said I was a "rum chap"--a "downy cove," and made other remarks which I could not understand then; but the meaning of which I have since comprehended, for they took me to be a great rascal, I am sorry to say, and supposed that I had robbed the I. W. D. a.s.sociation, and, in order to make my money secure, settled it on my wife.
It was in the midst of this conversation that, as I said, Gus came in; and whew! when he saw what was going on, he gave _such_ a whistle!
"Herr von Joel, by Jove!" says Aminadab. At which all laughed.
"Sit down," says Mr. B.,--"sit down, and wet your whistle, my piper! I say, egad! you're the piper that played before Moses! Had you there, Dab. Dab, get a fresh bottle of Burgundy for Mr. Hoskins." And before he knew where he was, there was Gus for the first time in his life drinking Clos-Vougeot. Gus said he had never tasted Bergamy before, at which the bailiff sneered, and told him the name of the wine.
"_Old Clo_! What?" says Gus; and we laughed: but the Hebrew gents did not this time.
"Come, come, sir!" says Mr. Aminadab's friend, "ve're all shentlemen here, and shentlemen never makish reflexunsh upon other gentlemen'sh pershuashunsh."
After this feast was concluded, Gus and I retired to my room to consult about my affairs. With regard to the responsibility incurred as a shareholder in the West Diddles.e.x, I was not uneasy; for though the matter might cause me a little trouble at first, I knew I was not a shareholder; that the shares were scrip shares, making the dividend payable to the bearer; and my aunt had called back her shares, and consequently I was free. But it was very unpleasant to me to consider that I was in debt nearly a hundred pounds to tradesmen, chiefly of Mrs.
Hoggarty's recommendation; and as she had promised to be answerable for their bills, I determined to send her a letter reminding her of her promise, and begging her at the same time to relieve me from Mr. Von Stiltz's debt, for which I was arrested: and which was incurred not certainly at her desire, but at Mr. Brough's; and would never have been incurred by me but at the absolute demand of that gentleman.
I wrote to her, therefore, begging her to pay all these debts, and promised myself on Monday morning again to be with my dear wife. Gus carried off the letter, and promised to deliver it in Bernhard Street after church-time; taking care that Mary should know nothing at all of the painful situation in which I was placed. It was near midnight when we parted, and I tried to sleep as well as I could in the dirty little sofa-bedstead of Mr. Aminadab's back-parlour.
That morning was fine and sunshiny, and I heard all the bells ringing cheerfully for church, and longed to be walking to the Foundling with my wife: but there were the three iron doors between me and liberty, and I had nothing for it but to read my prayers in my own room, and walk up and down afterwards in the court at the back of the house. Would you believe it? This very court was like a cage! Great iron bars covered it in from one end to another; and here it was that Mr. Aminadab's gaol-birds took the air.
They had seen me reading out of the prayer-book at the back-parlour window, and all burst into a yell of laughter when I came to walk in the cage. One of them shouted out "Amen!" when I appeared; another called me a m.u.f.f (which means, in the slang language, a very silly fellow); a third wondered that I took to my prayer-book _yet_.
"When do you mean, sir?" says I to the fellow--a rough man, a horse-dealer.
"Why, when you are going _to be hanged_, you young hypocrite!" says the man. "But that is always the way with Brough's people," continued he. "I had four greys once for him--a great bargain, but he would not go to look at them at Tattersall's, nor speak a word of business about them, because it was a Sunday."
"Because there are hypocrites," sir, says I, "religion is not to be considered a bad thing; and if Mr. Brough would not deal with you on a Sunday, he certainly did his duty."
The men only laughed the more at this rebuke, and evidently considered me a great criminal. I was glad to be released from their society by the appearance of Gus and Mr. Smithers. Both wore very long faces. They were ushered into my room, and, without any orders of mine, a bottle of wine and biscuits were brought in by Mr. Aminadab; which I really thought was very kind of him.
"Drink a gla.s.s of wine, Mr. t.i.tmarsh," says Smithers, "and read this letter. A pretty note was that which you sent to your aunt this morning, and here you have an answer to it."
I drank the wine, and trembled rather as I read as follows:--
"Sir,--If, because you knew I had desined to leave you my proparty, you wished to murdar me, and so stepp into it, you are dissapointed.
Your _villiany_ and _ingrat.i.tude would_ have murdard me, had I not, by Heaven's grace, been inabled to look for consalation _elsewhere_.
"For nearly a year I have been a _martar_ to you. I gave up everything,--my happy home in the country, where all respected the name of Hoggarty; my valuble furnitur and wines; my plate, gla.s.s, and crockry; I brought all--all to make your home happy and rispectable. I put up with the _airs and impertanencies_ of Mrs. t.i.tmarsh; I loaded her and you with presents and bennafits. I sacrafised myself; I gave up the best sociaty in the land, to witch I have been accustomed, in order to be a gardian and compannion to you, and prevent, if possible, that _waist and ixtravygance_ which I _prophycied_ would be your ruin.
Such waist and ixtravygance never, never, never did I see. b.u.t.tar waisted as if it had been dirt, coles flung away, candles burnt _at both ends_, tea and meat the same. The butcher's bill in this house was enough to support six famalies.
"And now you have the auda.s.saty, being placed in prison justly for your crimes,--for cheating me of 3,000_l_., for robbing your mother of an insignificient summ, which to her, poor thing, was everything (though she will not feel her loss as I do, being all her life next door to a beggar), for incurring detts which you cannot pay, wherein you knew that your miserable income was quite unable to support your ixtravygance--you come upon me to pay your detts! No, sir, it is quite enough that your mother should go on the parish, and that your wife should sweep the streets, to which you have indeed brought them; _I_, at least, though cheated by you of a large summ, and obliged to pa.s.s my days in comparative ruin, can retire, and have some of the comforts to which my rank ent.i.tles me. The furnitur in this house is mine; and as I presume you intend _your lady_ to sleep in the streets, I give you warning that I shall remove it all tomorrow.
"Mr. Smithers will tell you that I had intended to leave you my intire fortune. I have this morning, in his presents, solamly toar up my will; and hereby renounce all connection with you and your beggarly family.
"SUSAN HOGGARTY.
"P.S.--I took a viper into my bosom, _and it stung me_."
I confess that, on the first reading of this letter, I was in such a fury that I forgot almost the painful situation in which it plunged me, and the ruin hanging over me.
"What a fool you were, t.i.tmarsh, to write that letter!" said Mr.
Smithers. "You have cut your own throat, sir,--lost a fine property,--written yourself out of five hundred a year. Mrs. Hoggarty, my client, brought the will, as she says, downstairs, and flung it into the fire before our faces."
"It's a blessing that your wife was from home," added Gus. "She went to church this morning with Dr. Salt's family, and sent word that she would spend the day with them. She was always glad to be away from Mrs. H., you know."
"She never knew on which side her bread was b.u.t.tered," said Mr. Smithers.
"You should have taken the lady when she was in the humour, sir, and have borrowed the money elsewhere. Why, sir, I had almost reconciled her to her loss in that cursed Company. I showed her how I had saved out of Brough's claws the whole of her remaining fortune; which he would have devoured in a day, the scoundrel! And if you would have left the matter to me, Mr. t.i.tmarsh, I would have had you reconciled completely to Mrs.
Hoggarty; I would have removed all your difficulties; I would have lent you the pitiful sum of money myself."
"Will you?" says Gus; "that's a trump!" and he seized Smithers's hand, and squeezed it so that the tears came into the attorney's eyes.
"Generous fellow!" said I; "lend me money, when you know what a situation I am in, and not able to pay!"
"Ay, my good sir, there's the rub!" says Mr. Smithers. "I said I _would_ have lent the money; and so to the acknowledged heir of Mrs. Hoggarty I would--would at this moment; for nothing delights the heart of Bob Smithers more than to do a kindness. I would have rejoiced in doing it; and a mere acknowledgment from that respected lady would have amply sufficed. But now, sir, the case is altered,--you have no security to offer, as you justly observe."
"Not a whit, certainly."
"And without security, sir, of course can expect no money--of course not.
You are a man of the world, Mr. t.i.tmarsh, and I see our notions exactly agree."
"There's his wife's property," says Gus.
"Wife's property? Bah! Mrs. Sam t.i.tmarsh is a minor, and can't touch a shilling of it. No, no, no meddling with minors for me! But stop!--your mother has a house and shop in our village. Get me a mortgage of that--"
"I'll do no such thing, sir," says I. "My mother has suffered quite enough on my score already, and has my sisters to provide for; and I will thank you, Mr. Smithers, not to breathe a syllable to her regarding my present situation."
"You speak like a man of honour, sir," says Mr. Smithers, "and I will obey your injunctions to the letter. I will do more, sir. I will introduce you to a respectable firm here, my worthy friends, Messrs.
Higgs, Biggs, and Blatherwick, who will do everything in their power to serve you. And so, sir, I wish you a very good morning."
And with this Mr. Smithers took his hat and left the room; and after a further consultation with my aunt, as I heard afterwards, quitted London that evening by the mail.
I sent my faithful Gus off once more to break the matter gently to my wife, fearing lest Mrs. Hoggarty should speak of it abruptly to her; as I knew in her anger she would do. But he came in an hour panting back, to say that Mrs. H. had packed and locked her trunks, and had gone off in a hackney-coach. So, knowing that my poor Mary was not to return till night, Hoskins remained with me till then; and, after a dismal day, left me once more at nine, to carry the dismal tidings to her.
At ten o'clock on that night there was a great rattling and ringing at the outer door, and presently my poor girl fell into my arms; and Gus Hoskins sat blubbering in a corner, as I tried my best to console her.
The next morning I was favoured with a visit from Mr. Blatherwick; who, hearing from me that I had only three guineas in my pocket, told me very plainly that lawyers only lived by fees. He recommended me to quit Cursitor Street, as living there was very expensive. And as I was sitting very sad, my wife made her appearance (it was with great difficulty that she could be brought to leave me the night previous)--